Mark from Cape Town writes:
I work part-time nights at a supermarket as a shelf stacker. I suppose its obvious that I'm gay but I'm getting pissed off with sly little digs about my sexuality dressed up as "jokes". I don't feel like it's bad enough for me to make a formal complaint about it and our night-time supervisor is a lightweight in the hierarchy but I want to be left alone. How should I deal with this shit?

Aunty Emma responds:
Sexual harassment is unwelcome sexual conduct which makes a person feel offended, humiliated and/or intimidated where that reaction is reasonable in the circumstances.

Sexual harassment in the workplace can take various forms. It can involve unwelcome touching, hugging or kissing; suggestive comments or jokes; unwanted invitations to go out on dates or requests for sex; insults based on your sex or sexuality, explicit emails, and the list goes on.

It is obvious that you see these comments/jokes as nasty to you. That then makes your work place a hostile environment. Definitely bring it to your manager's attention, that's what they are there for. This supervisor sounds like a right smart arse and needs to be taught a lesson. His / her behaviour will, given time, escalate and get worse if you don't act.

If you don't want to involve management at this point have strong words with the supervisor concerned. Tell him / her that you are unhappy and will be keeping a diary; times dates etc of any further breaches, and if there are any, you will bring a claim for sexual harassment.

I don't think you will have any more trouble, A little story about someone I know who was experiencing a form of sexual harassment in the supermarket where he works; this lad was given a girls name by a supervisor who thought he was gay.

It got to the point where this new name was put on the roster by the supervisor as a put down joke. However the joke backfired as the lad did not turn up to work for the three days he was rostered. When the manager chipped him for not notifying he was not going to attend his job, he quietly answered: - sorry it was Hayley that was rostered on, my name is Harry.