I didn't find him as intriguing when I hired him, but our relationship just grew slowly. So now I know that I might be in for a difficult time, because I'd like to take things further with him, but we work so closely together that it may very well make things uncomfortable at work. I'm also acutely aware that I'm his boss and it may not be professional to make an advance on him.

Please advise me as I'm not sure what to do, perhaps there is something wonderful that's possible?

Aunty Emma's response follows after ad.

Aunty Emma responds:
There are very few ways that this can have a happy ending … and very many that are extremely messy! Imagine for a moment an affair with this guy that works, an affair that's happy, equitable and entirely invisible to the bank and the other staff. It's pretty unlikely, and there are lots of pitfalls on the way to getting there – potential misunderstandings, harassment claims and workplace issues – but it is not entirely impossible. Imagine it.

Now, imagine after a few months that happy relationship getting into difficulties –perhaps one of you strays, or snores, or watches too much television. Imagine, even, the relationship coming to an end. Let's face it; relationships do come to an end, and many fairly quickly. Be realistic. Imagine the hurt. Will it still be possible at that time to keep work issues and relationship issues separate? Imagine how difficult it might be at that time for this guy, and for you. Imagine trying to work together at that time. Imagine what will be said in the bank then – by this guy, by other members of your staff, and by your bosses.

You have to weigh up which is more important to you – your career or this relationship? If you are determined on the relationship, then one of you better get a new job – probably you.