It has been said that anal sex is the gay man’s handshake. To some, maybe. Other men don’t want to go so far so quickly. If this is you, there really is nothing wrong with checking each other out through hands and oral. Indeed, this can pave the way for greater intimacy than would a quick screw.

Mutual hand-jobs, mouth applied as and when, allow two guys to size each other up and initiate the feeling of being close – and the longer term desire to be closer – without, perhaps, forcing the feeling too soon. They can hold back, kiss, stroke and play with each other. They can admire each other’s body and face. Some of them can even talk!

If it goes well, great. Swap numbers. Meet later for more. If you don’t connect, or you just don’t like his cock, there’s little risk of ending up feeling you’'ve been somewhere you maybe didn'’t want to take yourself.

Take your time over it. It is an opportunity to explore – and more time allows more exploration. It can also help both of you to relax and lose any defenses and inhibitions you may have.

Of course, hand-play might lead onto more there and then. If so, and you both want it, that’s fine. But don’t get carried away: keep playing safe. Even with oral, it’s entirely acceptable not to take his come in your mouth, let alone swallow it. Kiss, suck, lick and adore each other’s cock, but then take pleasure in watching each other come. Afterwards, pause and kiss and hold. Come back down to earth slowly. Let any re-surfacing feelings of inhibition you may have fade.

And, having shaken hands, go and have a drink, or whatever. Chat. You can always come back for more.

If you haven'’t had everything he’s got to offer in one extra-large McServing, you’'re more likely to want to return to him – to anticipate that first call and imagine the greater explorations and possible friendship to follow.