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Hunting the prey, the lesbian way
Sextalk - Lesbian relationships
Hunting the prey So I had a night out in Jozi a couple of weeks ago and I was stumped for words. When I arrived, I walked to the bar and tried to scope the place out.

As I personally eliminate the couples out of the equation, I found a girl who really caught my attention. She was with friends so I didn’t want to go up to her but how could I let her know that I was here and I was interested.

After several hours and even more drinks, I was still lacking in confidence yet attained an unsteady balance and a tone for conversation that wouldn’t make sense.

This makes me wonder about the success of lesbians picking up. How do we do it? Does it consist of lesbians whispering sweet nothings in each others ears? Come on!

We all know that lesbians try not to show their true colours and we all know we try to be defensive so we don’t get embarrassed. Sure we get all dolled up, put on our favourite vest or collared shirt and spike our hair to make us more appealing.

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So what is the signal or that defining moment where you know someone is interested in you and that they will be coming home with you tonight? Do we talk it out, step by step, with the emotional needs of the other being clearly highlighted before going at it like rabbits?

Women, whether bisexual, straight or gay have this obvious issue with confidence. In other words, we have none.

I think many of us are so scared of rejection that we consider it easier to remain defensive with our own little lesbian entourage for the night. Of course, on the odd occasion we pick up if we get drunk enough to dance next to a random and slowly move (or stumble) in for the kill.

It is easy enough to say that guys on the other hand have this commendable ability to just stare at someone across a room long enough for them to know they are getting lucky. Yet, even as a proud lesbian I’m not sure how we do it.

Now, there is the obvious way to meet women by joining a soccer team but there are many lesbians who do not find enjoyment in getting kicked in the shins. One of my gay male friends even suggested a secret handshake for women to know you’re interested. Although I don’t think that would be successful or easy.

By now, we are all aware that the best place to meet other women like yourselves is somewhere that creates a welcoming environment for all to socialise. Hello lesbian bars!

So lesbians everywhere unite! Realise how amazing you are and know that it doesn’t matter about whether you get rejected or not. I think it’s time we stared across a room, walked up to that girl or offered to buy someone a drink because it’s time we appreciate why we are all there… to get lucky!

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Comments 

 
#1 Tania 2010-04-15 18:30
Hi there

Love your article and agree..well almost. I am single, recently moved to Jhb (so no friends yet), fem and not too bad looking, but NOBODY speaks to me or actually keeps a conversation going if I try and make it happen! I even tried going to a club (ramps) on my own and still not even able to make friends! What is it with the lesbian ladies in Jhb...? Promise...I dont bite...well not that hard anyway!
 


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