I have heard it say that there are twice as many closeted bisexuals in the world than there are gay men. Contrary to popular belief bisexuals are not going through a phase nor are they a minority. When you see them holding hands with someone of the opposite sex, it’s likely for someone to assume they’ve chosen to be “straight” again, but guess what, one’s orientation cannot be shifted. A bisexual man with a girlfriend is, in fact, STILL BISEXUAL.
There are plenty of bisexuals who are happily married to someone of the opposite sex, but they receive backlash from both the straight and gay community, which often accuses them of taking the easy way out. I’ve seen it firsthand. I’ve also witnessed countless of gay men who envy the fact that a bisexual can slip under the radar by society unnoticed. Trust me, this is anything but true.
Dating is twice as hard when you’re a bisexual because you’re forced to come out to every single person. Each first date supplies a new coming out story and you might be surprised at how many bisexuals get rejected. The majority of girls don’t like the idea that their man has a thing for boys, while many gay guys don’t like the fact that their boyfriends could be eyeing the ladies. It’s a continuing problem for bisexuals to find a person that accepts them for who they are. So much so that many choose not to come out.
Let’s get some common sense out of the way. It’s normal for bisexuals to date more people of the opposite sex because, surprise surprise, there are more straight people than there are gay people in the world. There are more options to choose from. Of course, there are also certain people who prefer one sex to the other as well. But just because they’re in a relationship doesn’t mean their orientation changes too. These kinds of stereotypes hover over bisexuals, and they spend most of their life trying to fight them.
The idea of monogamy doesn’t change when you start dating a bisexual. They aren’t any more promiscuous or slutty than you, though you might pigeonhole them towards that idea. When my best friend came out as bisexual to her coworkers, she said their entire perspective of her shifted. Men started flirting with her more, women started asking questions, and her bosses started assuming she was doing crazy things on the weekends. It’s as if being bisexual automatically made her into some kind of sex machine.
I remember being in high school and just beginning to realize that I was gay. I remember the voices that pierced me like a knife, telling me I was a liar, going through a phase, or even trying to be “cool” and go with the trends of experimentation. You’d think that we, gay men, will be the most sensitive ones when it comes to supporting bisexuals. But after reading comments on LGBT websites and speaking to my bisexual friends, I can’t help but think that we might not be.
It’s unfair for bisexuals to hear that they’re no longer who they say they are because of whom they’re dating. A man might be holding hands with a girl, but it doesn’t mean he’s straight. And let’s not forget the countless amount of closeted bisexuals with girlfriends who have yet to come out at all. However someone identifies them self is exactly who they are. Once we start to embrace that fact, perhaps more bisexuals will be less afraid to come out.