First dates can be awkward experiences for the uninitiated. And believe me, over the years I’ve had my fair share of ‘awkward’ experiences. So much so that I thought I’d lend a helping hand to wider society out there and list a few things which had me running for the hills, even though the guys at the other side of the table was as hot as hell.
If you are on that first date to start some sort of relationship, any kind of relationship, do NOT do any of the following things.
1 – Don’t talk about yourself (Too Much).
One of the best qualities one can have is to be a good listener. It’s been proven that being more of a listener resonates better with the person you are talking to. By listening to a person and being/acting genuinely interested in what they are saying will then result, in them psychologically put you down as an excellent conversationalist. But be cautious. Don’t end up listening to the guy all night and remaining mute yourself. He might think you are boring.
2 – Don’t have sex.
I bet you didn’t see that one coming!
Seriously though, don’t even go there. If you want to shag a guy you hardly know, go on Grindr! There are plenty of perfectly “normal” guys on there.
Seriously though, if you think there might be something there, don’t dive into bed with him! Take it easy! He could end up being your man!
And besides, after one date, chances are you haven’t quite sussed the guy out yet. He could be dealing in the flesh trade for all you know.
3 – Don’t go all Glenn Close.
Providing you actually managed to have a decent date, don’t fuck it up now! One of the worst things you can do is seem too keen. Interested is fine, but be weary that you could be reaching “Fatal Attraction” levels of enthusiasm.
Things like calling them the next morning or double-texting (For those that don’t know, a double-texter is someone who messages the person… gets no response… and messages again. In my head, I either presume they don’t want to talk to me, or they’re busy. I will NOT however, text them again because you look INSANE)
I’m all for the good old “Online Check/Stalk” though. Don’t look confused! We ALL do it…
At least I think everybody does it.
4 – Don’t bring friends along.
THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENS. Don’t do it. This isn’t a sort of a gay Sex and the City scene and chances are it’s not going to work… at all.
I can’t imagine anything worse than trying to impress a group of people that are almost always going to be against you. (Nobody is good enough for THEIR friend)
5 – Never go on a blind date – EVER.
You’re sitting there waiting for the Prince Charming your friend Susan has set you up with.
And in walks Simon. He’s probably wearing a Turtle-Neck and has one eye.
You sit there waiting for an excuse to leave, but it doesn’t and the dinner with Simon is never-ending. You are furious with Susan, and plan to give her a stern telling off. That is if you ever manage to get away from Simon and his rousing conversation.
“Oh what’s that Simon; you collect 2nd Hand Condoms you say”
6 – Be Critical
A bad habit of mine is that I assess people’s flaws far too quickly. My inner cynic is already pointing out the negatives before the sod has even sat down.
Gays as a collective are fairly critical (As it should be. We are the superior species after all).
Just get to know the guy before you start imagining how you’re going to make it through the evening with him. We’ve all been guilty of this. Although if he is both exceptionally ugly AND boring, start looking for the exit.
7- Don’t talk about your plethora of exes.
I had this happen to me on more than once occasion.
There’s nothing worse than listening to someone’s tragic catalogue of past romances and yet, then only hear good things about their exes. This one is sooo important that I’m even going to give you a short scenario about a recent conversation I had with someone which had me running for the hills. The extremely hot “Alan” was telling me all about his ex of two months ago (its been 2 months for Gods sake – MOVE ON!),“James”.
“James always knew what to get me for Christmas; I didn’t even need to HINT!”
“James made the best brunches”
“James always had loads of money”
etc. etc etc
It was a dreadful date, and by the end of it, I was certain I could write a fucking biography on James.
Feeling sorry for the hot Alan I decided, (against my better judgement) to try and help him get over “James”. Two weeks of sexual bliss later and… Ladies and Gentlemen… he left me for …” James.”
Thing is it didn’t last long and I saw him in a restaurant the other day with a new guy and as I walked past them on the way to the loo, I heard him talk about… “James”.