Yes, we’ve all met at least one of them in our lifetimes. (Or perhaps we ARE one of them?) There are some people who suffer from Chronic Dissatisfaction. It’s not a scientific term, but I think it paints the right picture. Some gay guys will never be satisfied with anything their entire lives. They’ll always wonder why things didn’t work out for them, why life decided to bite them in the ass, and, yes, why they’re still single. What many of them fail to realize is that life isn’t biting them in the ass. They are the ones giving life the middle finger…
An old high school friend reconnected with me over the weekend. I was quick to remember the old days. We had study hall together, we ran Cross Country, and he was the first person I told about my sexuality. There were so many adventures we’d done in the glory days, but one thing that consistently created a wedge between us and the world was his attitude. I had expected him to be different, but sadly he was the same cynical guy I loved to hate.
There are countless of single people who curse the world for their situations and they make no effort to hide it. I’ve dated them, I’ve laughed at them, I’ve drunk with them, and I’ve beat around the bush with no success. Debbie Downers are flooding our community and the worst part about it is they’re poisoning us like a barrel of apples. You can shake your head not, but you know damn well who I’m talking about. Hell, it might be you.
Maya Angelou once said that people aren’t remembered by the things they do, but by how they make people feel. When you’re a gay man who’s constantly trying to find something to complain about, how do you think you’ll be remembered? What type of impression do you think you’re leaving? I guarantee it’s different from what’s in your head. No one puts up with negativity for very long, especially when you’re entering adulthood. When we reach our mid to late twenties, we slowly start to wean out of this type of thinking because we’ve learned by now that it gets us nowhere. The second we come across another who tries to pull us back, it’s instinctual to push him away.
If you can relate to what I’m saying, listen closely. The world isn’t against you nor am I. The longer you insist on giving brutal honesty without cause, reality checks for no reason, and bitchy letdowns to get a laugh, you’re no longer the funny guy at the lunch table. You’re a bully. Debbie Downers are rarely taken seriously. Though it might have been cute when you were younger, it’s just not anymore.
I know my friend is going to be hurt after reading this article, but like everyone else who needs it, he has to hear the truth from someone who cares. We all have people in our lives that bring us down. The whole point of life is to be lifted towards growth and wholeness. Human beings are energy balls and we feed off each other’s attitudes. When one person is consistently acting like the weight of the world is on their shoulders, eventually it will be.
Single gay guys everywhere are becoming too cynical. They blame their body, their financial circumstance, even you, the friend, for the reason why their single. Trust me, all of these things might be the reason why they’re unhappy, but it’s not the reason why they’re single. It’s time we all look in the mirror and say hello to the person staring back. He is the one that will be with us for the rest of our lives. Every freckle, every line, every pore, every breath is ours.
When we’re trying to see the bad in everything, trust me, eventually we’ll find it.