Orgasm for gay men is one of the most intense and satisfying of physical and emotional experiences. But orgasm itself takes place mainly in the brain, as opposed to ejaculation, which is just a reflex in a localised area of the body.
You may have also already discovered that, in men at least, ejaculation can drain your energy, especially if it occurs more than a couple of times a week. Think back to that sleepy, slightly fatigued feeling you often get after cumming and you can see why many athletes abstain from sex the night before a big match or event.
It’s thought that repeated and regular ejaculation can deplete the body of vitality over time, especially bearing in mind the bioelectrical energy that circulates through every cell of our bodies. Much of this energy is trapped in our lower chakras, the areas responsible for sexual functioning — and it leaves the body during ejaculation.
But if you can learn to circulate this energetic charge and ‘ride the waves’ of orgasmic energy without cumming, you can experience much longer and more intense full body pleasure.
You might already know this process as ‘edging’. It involves bringing yourself close to, but not over, the point of no return, then contracting your pelvic floor while you stop stimulating yourself for up to 20 seconds to allow the urge to come to subside. You can also pull gently on your balls or squeeze around the base of the head of the penis to help delay ejaculation. Remember to breathe deeply into the belly to help energy move upwards.
Repeat this process a number of times and over time you’ll find your arousal levels rise to higher and higher peaks of pleasure, which you’ll start to feel through your whole body instead of just in the genitals.
After you’ve peaked several times without ejaculating, stop here and notice how you feel. You might feel heat, or a tingling, buzzing sensation, you might feel highly energised or very peaceful. It’s also OK to experiment with this technique before eventually allowing yourself to ejaculate, especially at first.
With a little practice, you’re on your way to the land of the fabled male multiple orgasm — and to a more energising and healthier sex life.