A lesbian relationship often has different ‘rules’ to heterosexual or gay ones, but there is one part of a relationship that cements it as more than just dating or a fling – meeting the parents.
To some it’s probably the scariest of encounters, to others it’s something that is really special and exciting, whereas to many it’s not even an option.
Some couples don’t even consider it as an option – particularly if the relationship with the parents isn’t the strongest as they don’t approve of the child being gay. It could also be that distance makes a huge difference or that, simply, it isn’t an important stage of a relationship.
However, what do you do if your girlfriend wants to introduce you to her parents? It’s going to be easier if she’s out to them and they are comfortable with it, in which case it makes things a while lot better for you. You’re sure to have the usual and understandable anxiety of whether they will like you, if indeed you will like them, if the whole meeting will go well, or if you’re likely to find out anything strange about your girlfriend! This is all OK – you wouldn’t really care about your girlfriend if you didn’t have these thoughts.
It’s very easy to panic and see it as a really big thing. Many people find it difficult to cope with and would avoid meeting the parents at all costs, but you need to approach it from a different angle. You could be the first one she’s introduced, so you should really take it as a compliment that she considers you to be important enough to be introduced to them.
Not only that, but think of the benefits – if you get on well with them, and their relationship with your girlfriend is good, you’re going to be gaining an extended family who will be welcoming you into theirs. It’s actually quite common for partners to really appreciate the new ‘parents-in-law’ and get a great deal out of it, including support, love and new experiences and opinions.
There are a few points to remember when going for the first time. Firstly, make an effort in terms of your appearance. Don’t wear something you wouldn’t normally wear, or you might come across as very uncomfortable and not yourself, but just take care in your appearance. Treating it much like a job interview would be a good way to approach it – although the benefits may not be financial, they are certainly worth having!
Crucially – be yourself. There’s absolutely no point in pretending to be something you’re not because, rather unfairly, you will give them the wrong impression of you and this could affect the expectations they have for their daughter.
It’s important to have respect for them – they are unlikely to be like your parents, but you have to respect their way of living no matter how different your views and opinions may be. You’re in a relationship with their daughter, not them – however, it could actually turn out to be something you enjoy and embrace, so just relax and enjoy yourself!