It happens in the oddest places. In a gay bar, okay, its expected, but then there’s the train, the sidewalk, the hospital waiting room even that mega-straight local pub you go to on time out from gay space. You catch an eye. Wherever. What do you do next?
If you’re looking, at least beyond the first split-second, thats already a sign of curiosity. What stops people running with that? Perhaps its the fear if you so much as smile, let alone exchange words, youll be inevitably gay-honour bound to have sex with someone you might not actually like.
If thats the case, theres a simple solution. Smile, wink, wave. Then go and say hi. If everyone did this the fear that you might end up having to have sex would evaporate. You wouldn’t need to keep yourself furtive. Saying hi to people who seem on the whole pretty fit would be a regular human exchange.
Theres a selection of phrases to master. I dont want to have sex with you. Im not really looking right now. Not tonight. I dont fancy you. I have to go and talk to him now.
Its probable you won’t have to use them, but as a last resort its handy to know they’re there. It means youre free to say other things, such as: Hi! How are you?