On its own or as an aspect of foreplay, massage is the royal road to intimacy. It’s free, lasts as long as you like, and you don’t even need to be expert – though, with a little practice, you soon will be. Take the time to explore and enjoy each other’s bodies fully. With the extra understanding you gain, your sexual relationship can only get better.
All you need to do is follow the muscle. Use a sexily scented oil and smooth it into his skin in long, caressing strokes – both to warm it and to relax him and make him feel comfortable receiving the massage – then gently begin. Trace the muscles surrounding the spine, from the base to the neck, and the shoulders. These are the main areas where tension accumulates though feel free to roam: the whole body deserves a little attention.
Lift the muscle between thumb and fingers – a pinching-plucking motion – then kneed with the ball of the hand. For added pressure, you can push with only the thumb, but if you keep that up you’ll soon get tired. Be sure you’re confident about where the tension lies and where the muscles bulk before exerting a lot of pressure, for example with the elbow. You don’t want to cause pain. If you are doing – and the pain is different from the thrilling feeling of tension being gathered and released – stop and proceed more gently. The aim is to please, not to injure.
As you proceed around the whole of his body, front and back, the principle remains the same. Explore and locate the muscle, kneed it gently and increasingly firmly, don’t fumble, and don’t press harder than you feel is comfortable.
If you want to make this an erotic massage, aim for this to be the culmination of the session. His whole body should already be thoroughly relaxed before you work on his penis and genitals. For minutes, when he’s erect, avoid touching his penis. Circle around it. Stroke the inside leg and trace a line between his hips. Begin very lightly to brush along the sides of his penis. Run a finger up and down it and along the perineum, which runs between the scrotum and anus. Then at last use your mouth or hands to bring him to orgasm – which, in the wake of the massage, will be amongst the richest he’s experienced.
If alternatively you’re going to penetrate him, be aware that rubbing massage oil into his anus will damage a condom. Yes, use your fingers to prepare his anus, and this will be a beautiful continuation of the massage, but switch from oil to lube. And, just as if you were giving him oral sex, his experience will be rich and intense because his whole body will feel relaxed, ‘rooted’ and physically prepared.