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Supressed Emotions and Sex

Dr Andrew Black

As well as being physically intense, man on man sex can be a highly emotional experience. There is the sense of release from the day to day masks we wear, of full exposure of our most intimate selves, but also the risk that repressed feelings, buried memories of painful experience, might resurface, producing confusion, fear and anguish.

This, however, if you know what’s happening, can become an opportunity to heal those wounds and to grow as a person. If you feel emotionally distressed during intercourse, you might simply want to keep going and ride it out. If so, do express your feelings, especially through noise. This can be exciting to the man screwing you, though other, perhaps more sensitive, tops might find it distressing.

Alternatively, it can be better to pause. Ask the top to stop thrusting and breathe awhile. Deep, slow breaths will help you to calm down – and, with renewed relaxation, can come a greater sense of control and ownership of your emotions. Ask the top to stroke you, if that’s what you need. Only begin again when you feel ready.

If painful emotions are encountered, they can be discussed with your partner after sex. It is good to help him understand what has happened, both so he knows he didn’t do anything wrong, and to help bring you closer together as lovers. For you as well, talking about what you have encountered can be part of the healing process.

In life as a whole, some would say repressed painful experiences are best left buried – that they are repressed for a reason, to enable you to get on with living life. If, though, the repressions fail, it might be time to seek professional help.

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