4Men - Style

From toys to furniture, sneakers to hairdo's. Everything that makes a South African gay man's life interesting

Graham Green goes husband hunting and...

Gay Husband Hunting

By Graham Green

Yes, I'm fully aware of the fact that I am my own worst enemy when it comes to relationships and I know I keep dating people who I know things won’t work out with.

But... I don’t spend my nights crying like Bridget. I still find picking myself up and getting back on the cocktails is more appropriate.

I too often find myself seeing guys with more important priorities than me. My first boyfriend who I was with for four years was studying to become an architect. It was an intense course with long unsociable hours, lots of trips away, weekend site visits and it stressed him out a lot. I was young and naïve so I knew no better than to accept my role as his boyfriend was to play second fiddle to his course.

So despite knowing all of that I found myself on a date the other weekend with a guy doing the exact same course at the same university. He was in his last year of the seven year degree and architecture had taken over his life. It took 3 weeks to organise the date after first meeting in a bar, because he was so busy with his projects. I should have taken that as a warning sign, but I perused with the date.

I persevered with the date mainly because he was tall, really well built with green eyes and slight browny-ginger hair and stubble and sexy 'boere' accent. Exactly my type. We grabbed lunch one afternoon at Moyo's and followed it with a walk around Zoo lake. He was cute and charming and a really good kisser, however aside from his architecture, he didn’t have many other interests and because of his architecture didn’t have time for any other hobbies, or more importantly, a boyfriend.

I’m someone who needs constant stimulation, good conversation and a lot of attention, so deep down I knew it wasn’t going to work out, which was a huge shame as I had high hopes for this hottie.

Antipodean men however aren’t typically short on energy, enthusiasm and never turn down a night out. Perfect for me. I have dated several career boys with cute accents, but alas with their dulcet tone also comes limited time making them another common occurrence on my route to heartbreak hotel.

Being lucky in love is something I’ve never been prone to, however something I don’t let put me off. I mean, aside from the achy breaky heart and passive aggressive mood swings, in the grand scheme of things I kind of relish in my failures and am proud of getting out there and trying to tame the wild dating horse.

Anytime I have a catch up with friends over cocktails, the conversation soon turns to my relationship situation. And I have a confession to make…

I play the unfortunate victim to my settled down friends, especially the straight ones who are in long term relationships waiting for me to catch up with them. It does them well to think I’m on the hunt for a husband, but underneath the dating profiles and civilised coffees and lunctime rendez-vous with eligible bachelors I’m also out clubbing, grinding against boys in bars, being a carefree gay guy in Johannesburg, having a bloody good time sowing the wild oats.

So, for now, I like my life with more crazy than quo in my status.

See you at the bar?

Join us on Facebook Follow us on Twitter Keep up with us on Pinterest Join our Google Plus circle Join us on Tumblr