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We look issues regarding our love of gay porn

Porny Issues

By Graham Green

Lets face it, polite society have never liked porn much. Apparently, it’s ruining everything from men’s real sex lives to our general ability to function within society. I’ve read horror stories of porn consumption entirely overtaking the lives of some men, and others detailing how some men are finding it difficult to enjoy actual sex because their expectations have been so warped by what they view on their computer screens that intercourse with a partner can’t possibly match up.

I have not one iota of doubt that for some, porn addiction, or compulsion, as it’s now referred to, is a very real and crippling (and probably also chaffing) thing. But those people are likely on the fringes of the bell curve and represent a tiny percentage of porn consumers. As is always the case with news, shocking stories tend to occupy front-page real estate more so than benign, uplifting ones. And I’m fine with that. News is reported that way because that’s what we as consumers respond to. What I’m not OK with is the needless vilification of such a time-honored medium such as porn. It’s already a taboo subject. While I think it should remain one, I don’t see a reason to beat the proverbial dead whores again and again. I have no qualms about saying that within a very wide range of reason, a little porn never hurt anyone.

What these news stories often fail to gloss over is that pornography has been a thing for more or less forever. Scientists in Germany discovered a figurine of a woman dating back 25,000 years with clearly defined lady parts and a greatly emphasized bust line. (Just Google Woman of Willendorf) I’ve seen cave paintings depicting subjects going to pound town, and I even recall reading about the discovery of what appeared to be a Paleolithic female masturbation tool.

The point is, humanity has been obsessed with the bone zone and everything related to it before we developed a real society. Even in an age when people were mostly naked all the time anyway, men still had a borderline unhealthy interest in T ‘n’ A. With that in mind, it’s a little ridiculous for news outlets to portray pornography as some kind of new menace to society that corrupts the minds of men.

Yes, it’s infinitely more accessible today — no more sneaking to the back section of the video store to steal a glimpse of the (inexplicably and needlessly) graphic video covers. Admittedly, it’s gotten more graphic, as well, but so has everything. Dropping an F-bomb doesn’t have the same impact it did 50 years ago. Calling someone a coward doesn’t really call for a fistfight or duel the way it used to. As we progress, we become desensitized. If a Rand won’t buy you what it used to in 1940, it makes sense then that the Edgars catalog doesn’t make for very arousing wanking material anymore.

To me, one of the principle benefits of anonymous porn consumption is that it allows men to get a feel for what sorts of sex fantasies they might have without putting themselves or others in harm’s way. Sex and sexual preferences are a very personal thing, and while I might find 65% of what I see on the internet revolting, I’m accepting of the fact that there are people who might find whatever I’m into, however benign it may seem, equally unsavory.

Someone may watch a scene from Asian Ass to Mouth Assault 3 and say, “Hey, this turns me on. Maybe I can explore what I like about this and seek out acceptable ways to incorporate this into my actual sex life.” Similarly, others might tune away immediately, knowing that they’ll never feel the desire to put their dong anywhere near a guy’s a-hole. Beyond determining likes and dislikes, it can also help men figure out to what degree they’re into something. Say, for instance, that you know you have a foot fetish, in so much as you find seeing a man in bare feet pretty sexy. If you wanted to explore that further, you might watch Filthy French Foot F*ckers Live in Frankfurt and come away thinking, “Wow, I guess I’m not that into feet after all.” Alternatively, you might have a cursory interest in masturbation, but after watching Boys Banging Traffic Cones 5, you might say, “Hmm, I wonder if he could handle a 12" dick” The takeaway, then, would be that you could approach your partners and maybe have them know how hot it would be if you could watch them double-click their mouses before sex. Porn allows us to identify our interests, verify them and then find practical ways to experience them. Without porn, doing so would probably involve a lot of diseases and uncomfortable conversations.

A lot of men decry porn use by their partners, often because they feel as though their men are replacing them with it. While I’m sure this happens in extreme cases, on the whole it’s a ridiculous proposition. Men are very visual creatures and guys should know not to get jealous.

Lastly, I think it’s important the media to realize that, for most of us, porn is an outlet and an indulgence and nothing more. Most men don’t secretly wish that their boyfriends looked or acted like strung-out, pale, twink porn starlets. Some men might find the sparkly vampire guy from Twilight super sexy as a character and in measured doses, but was he to be real and ever-present, the outpouring of angst and emotion would drive men nuts.

Obviously, there is such a thing as too much of a good thing. If you find yourself late for appointments or skipping out on life in favour of choking your chicken, you might have an issue that needs to be addressed. But for most of us, it’s harmless fun. It’s a multibillion-dollar industry for a reason: As much as people decry it, it remains awfully popular.

In the words of John Lennon, give porn a chance. (You might even like it)

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