4Men - Gay Relationships

Intimate and sometimes explicit advice and tips on the gay relationship and bedroom scene

A reader asks advice about bottoming for a BIG man

The Bulge In His Pants

By Alex James

Got this e-mail via the QL editor recently... Since its a question on a lot of people's lips, my answer follows below...

Dear Queerlife

I’m a twenty-something gay man living in Johannesburg. Most of my sexual experiences have been on the top side of things outside of a few underwhelming bottoming experiences with 2 ex-boyfriends.

I met a very nice guy a couple weeks back and we had some great chemistry together. Long story short, after a very romantic day together we went back to his house and had sex.

This guy has probably the largest erect penis I’ve seen in my life. As hot as it was, I was about to run for the hills because I didn’t think there would be any way I could possibly ever take it. I even considered not seeing him again over this subject.

Fast forward to last week, things are going great after a number of great dates and I shared with him my anxiety about bottoming for him. He told me there was no rush and we’d cross that bridge when we got there (right answer).

Well that bridge got crossed a few nights ago and then it got crossed again yesterday and OH MY GOD. After the initial work of getting it in there, my eyes were opened to pleasure that I have never known.

It was nothing short of AMAZING which brings me to my question. Should I be worried about injuring myself and are there any long-term physical issues that might come from bottoming for such a large guy?

Thanks...
Bruno

Hi Bruno!

Congrats on meeting a nice guy and your exciting new sexual experiences. There are a number of issues that can arise from receptive anal sex such as hemorrhoids, tearing, loss of bowel control to name a few. The best way of keeping your rosebud from turning into a bloody elephant trunk is to use a lot of lube, enjoy a lot of foreplay and “warming up” down there.

It is also important to listen to your body. You do not want to reenact that jailhouse gang bang scene you saw in a porno one time. Taking a pounding can lead to loss of sensation, muscle control and can damage your rectum. So while the feeling of a big dong up your bum might be making your eyes roll back in your head, enjoy responsibly.

In addition, if you choose to exercise your sword swallowing skills with your new beau, you have a greater chance of contracting bacterial and viral infections when deep throating. So be careful with yourself Bruno! And make sure your sexual partner(s) know that you have a strict “You break it, you buy it” policy.

I hope you enjoy each other responsibly and continue to rock each other’s worlds. Happy humping!

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