4Men - Gay Relationships

Intimate and sometimes explicit advice and tips on the gay relationship and bedroom scene

Naturism

Naughty Nudism

It has been said – a lot – that a nudist camp or beach is about as sexy as, well, a very unsexy thing from the planet unsexy. How unsexy to see everything straight away… But some would counter: ‘How much better to see what you might be getting later and have a few lazy, beached hours to consider what to do with it.’

It can be better to route the first pleasures of sex not in the revelation of an otherwise hidden penis, unless the specimen in question is particularly grand, but in the whole person. If you’re long used to seeing his cock, that cock becomes not an end in itself (pun-wise, don’t go there) but a means by which the lover can engage with that cock’s support mechanism, i.e. the human.

To be naked with your partner while not having sex can help you feel at ease with and love both your bodies, and, when you do have sex, promote a more holistic experience. Seeing each other walk around flaccidly naked may not be particularly sexy – not at least after the first few days of frenetically charged activity – but, in a sense, that’s the point. Nakedness becomes normalised. Sex then takes place in the context of a clear-eyed view of each other’s natural bodies.

It can be awkward at first. You might find not reaching for a towel or dressing gown feels a little contrived, as if you’re making a statement – or deliberately not feeling sexually naked. And, just as on a naturist beach, one might spend the first few days tanning the back and drilling sand – because it’s sexy – so at home it can feel a little uncomfortable trying to carry an erection with dignity, as if you aren’t necessarily expecting a shag for the seventh time that day. Such is the transition phase between habitual concealment and relaxed display.

Beyond this, as suggested above, the repression of the naked body, its categorisation as ‘forbidden fruit’, tends to cease to be a source of excitement. The desire to have sex, and the pleasure of sex, comes more fully in other ways. Of course, it’s because of the body, but also through friendship, love and intimacy shared. Sex and the body become more fully a part of the whole relationship, less the between-the-sheets stuff of the curtained bedroom, and when that’s the case, sex can tend to be a whole lot better.

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