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Intimate and sometimes explicit advice and tips on the gay relationship and bedroom scene

Advantages Of Being Versatile

Advantages Of Being Versatile

By Alex James

We gay men just love our labels. The debate on the top and bottom labels have been going on for eons but what about just being naturally versatile? Since coming out I have dipped my toes in both ends of the pool and have made up my mind about things but how do others feel about being versatile gay men. Me, myself and I wanted to know, so...

... I trawled the club scene... spoke to quite a few versatile men and have uncovered numerous reasons why being versatile is way better than even I thought.

Here are a few:

If you don’t feel like bottoming, sex can happen anyway.

Sometimes you really don’t feel like taking the time to get yourself together – it takes some effort to prep. If you were a total bottom, this might be a dead end as far as penetration, but for a versatile guy, it’s just a slight re-adjustment. Penetration is almost always on the menu, no matter which direction it’s coming from.

You learn to be an expert top AND an expert bottom...

... because most of the time, a man will think you're really good at one thing and only okay at the other. It’s weird when gay guys label themselves vers-bottom or vers-top as if to say they’re more this or that. Personally, I’ve found that the best sex comes from a fair and balanced ride on either side of the boat. I consider myself a really good top as well as a really good bottom. I know how to submit and dominate – it usually surprises and excites the man I’m with.

Sex is way better with boyfriends

When I’m dating a guy, we tend to have amazing sex lives. Because I’m strictly monogamous, my man and I love to experiment on higher levels with each other. Being versatile has allowed me to expand my limits with various kinks and sexy ideas we want to try. It’s fantastic.

You will always tickle a man’s fantasies without even trying.

When you tell a man you’re a bottom, he’s only going to think about f**king you. When you tell a man you’re a top, he’ll only imagine getting f**ked by you. But when you say you’re versatile, he’s going to imagine everything at once, which will make his imagination go crazy.

You don’t pretend to be anything you're not.

It never ceases to amaze me how many gay guys feel the need to classify themselves as one thing in order to get attention. They think in order to truly attract a man, they have to deliver a label. The truth of the matter is exaggerating or pretending to be something you’re not takes out all the mystery.

Whether he says he’s a “top” or “bottom,” either way You're OK!

Back when I used to be a top, it would be kinda of a downer to hit it off with another man only to find out he’s also a top. Now that I’m entering the versatile world, this issue is nonexistent. I can now focus on him and me and the connection, and, of course, the sex.

The label never “defines” you

It’s hard to make fun of a versatile man in the same way you’d make fun of a top or, even more so, a bottom. It’s sad to think that bottom dudes are usually the butt of everyone’s joke (which is bullshit). But try making fun of a versatile guy, I dare you. It’s kinda hard because we never let labels define us. We are who we are and we like whatever it is we like at the moment.

You see people’s true colors based on how they pick you up.

You’d be surprised at how many things guys will say to me when they’re trying to get in my pants. When they find out I’m versatile, they sometimes see it as an opportunity to go big or go home. “Feel like bending over tonight?” or “I need a man, not half a man” or “I don’t think you can handle this Mr. Vers” are actually normal things.

You have the power for the most part.

There is a tremendous power that comes from being versatile. I can sway one direction or another and bring my man along for the ride. No matter what he feels like doing, I’m usually the one that has to accommodate, which gives me the upper hand.

Sex MUST be consensual every time.

In the gay community there is sometimes a misunderstanding of what consensual means. I’ve met plenty of guys who think kissing is a free pass to do everything, trust me, it isn’t. But when you’re either a power top or power bottom, I find, at least my experience as one of them, that penetration is the ultimate goal. “I’m a bottom so I have to, you know, bottom.” As a versatile guy, penetration has turned into an option rather than a mandatory thing. Because I can do both, it also enhances the satisfaction of getting off. There are many roads that lead to Rome and it doesn’t always have to do with insertion.

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