4Men - Gay Relationships

Intimate and sometimes explicit advice and tips on the gay relationship and bedroom scene

Gay Men and Fake Orgasms

Gay Men and Fake Orgasms

By Alex James

As we all know from watching our favourite soap opera's on TV, it’s not hard for a woman to fake her O’s: “Oh yeah baby, give it to me. Oh, oh, oh, oh! Yes!” These days easy access to porn has made people think it’s easy for a gay guy to do the same as well, but is it really? – What more can we do besides groan, shake, and spit on the guy’s back? Faking orgasms have become an international language picked up across all genders and orientations; for us queer folk, however, it’s easier said than done.

It all comes down to what you consider an orgasm – ejaculation, a body experience, a mental experience, an intimate bond, etc. Everyone has the capability of exaggeration, but because the male body is the way it is, it’s nearly impossible to think there’s such a thing as bad sex. The proof is in the condom, so to speak.

Straight guys aren’t exactly the best translators when it comes to women, so what makes us think we’re different? I for one can’t explain the difference between a good tongue and a bad tongue, but I definitely know it when it’s happening. We’ve all run into those types of guys who are experts at knowing when and where to touch you, giving just the right amount of warmth, wetness, and thrust – all three of which are my weak spots. When done right I’m known to have the biggest orgasms you’ve ever seen in your life, but that doesn’t necessarily mean I was faking all the others before.

It’s true, guys can’t fake ejaculation, but what they can (and do) fake is the journey it takes to get there. Our bodies are not like women’s bodies. Getting to a state of climax isn’t always going to bring shivers and shakes; trying to force ourselves to get there isn’t going to make it any more enjoyable.

I’ve had really great and really bad O’s in my life. If there’s a common thread attached to all my best, it definitely has to do with the guy. Trust me, I thought I knew what great sex was until I met my man – he showed me everything I knew about touching, licking, rubbing, and surrendering to the control of another. I can never fake my experience with him.

Unfortunately, rather than trying to get to know how their bodies work and what feels best for them, most gay guys pretend to be their favorite porn star, even if the sex isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Porn is so prevalent in our culture that it’s taken over nightlife, our standards of beauty, and now, our bedroom activities. If we don’t scream and rave like we were doing it for the camera, the other guy is bound to think we’re not having a good time – this isn’t considered “faking it” necessarily, but it is a form of exaggeration that does nothing to help your O’s.

Gay guys are really good at faking everything. We’ve become experts at the art of perception, but never should it enter the bedroom if you know what’s good for you. In a world full of porn star wannabes, you ought to take control of your orgasms and start educating yourself on what your body is telling you. Once you know what you like, you’re more than willing to give just as much as receive.

Man-on-man connection is literally all about chemistry. When his body meshes perfectly well with yours, it becomes about more than sex. It turns into a roller coaster ride for his body and for yours – that’s the epitome of pleasure, which cannot be faked.

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