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Intimate and sometimes explicit advice and tips on the gay relationship and bedroom scene

How many guys can we sleep with before we’re considered slutty

How Slutty Are You?

By Alex James

In the bigger scheme of things, no one is perfect. We all have a past and most of us are more than willing to forgive it. I can’t tell you how many times my friends have teased me for my slutty years, but you know what? I had a ball, honey. Unfortunately for many gay guys today constantly running from the stereotype, being promiscuous tends to have invisible limitations. How many guys can we sleep with before we’re considered slutty?

Dating always starts out innocent. The men start to collect, the night outs begin to multiply and the condom wrappers pile up in the waste basket. Before you know it, you’ve skipped all forms of connection with a man and gone straight to sex. Every time. Nothing wrong with that, but at what point does the word “dating” become an excuse?

In my experience gay guys can be promiscuous so long as they use the word “dating.” I’m single and dating, therefore, I’m obliged to seek out plenty of fish in the sea. When I was in my early-twenties, being promiscuous was a part of our routine. Sure we went out clubbing with our friends looking to have a fun night, but in the back of our minds we secretly hoped to meet someone for the after party. Today, being slutty has become somewhat of a danger sign.

I’ve known plenty of guys who enjoy dressing slutty. They wear next to nothing for a simple trip to the corner store, they love talking dirty to people and their favorite pastime is to grind up next to the hottest guy in the club. Little does the rest of the world know, they rarely sleep with a man before the third date. Are they considered a slut? One might judge their actions as slutty just as much as a man who physically has sex with hundreds, even thousands, of guys.

We all have limitations on things and it’s usually never the same. What’s considered “too much” for me might mean something completely different for you. No matter how many men we’ve slept with it’s always going to be too much or too little, so when it comes to promiscuity it all depends on the person who’s pointing the finger.

The world of gay dating is so connected today it was just a matter of time before it became sexual. I can’t walk down the street or open a magazine without seeing advertisements geared to single people. We all want to meet the love our lives, but has the search made us even more promiscuous than we already were? It’s time we start second-guessing what a slut actually is. The less we point our fingers at people the more we’re able to look passed such a suppressing label. The term has now become either a badge of honor or an easy way to dismiss someone we don’t like.

If you ask me, there is no limitation on how slutty you can be, but there does come a moment when too much sex can desensitize us for a long time. The same can be said with too much finger-pointing. Too many assumptions will only lead us down an unhealthy path. Eventually we’ll be spending more time focusing on other people’s lives than our own. The slut spectrum is far and wide. Someone who enjoys the act of sex and practices it safely isn’t more sluttier than the 30-year old virgin twerking it up in the clubs. The manner in which we use the term says much more about us than it does them.

Here are some words of wisdom. The person who calls someone else a slut is usually the most guilty of them all.

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