4Men - Gay Relationships

Intimate and sometimes explicit advice and tips on the gay relationship and bedroom scene

For some, sex with your best friend can become a reality but

Doing It With Your Best Friend

By Alex James

Best friends... You love them, you share everything with them, but you don't really want to have hot sex. Or do you? Well, except... maybe once.

We're only human. We're not made of stone. Emotions can have a habit of over-spilling. It can just seem a bit wrong that you haven't plugged into each other one way or another, physically, this assuming you haven't already.

And this is one occasion when great first time sex with a 'new' partner can happen while quite drunk - not that you need to be late, when you're staying over.

These are the rules.
1. Right now, never mind tomorrow morning or earlier this evening, do you both want to have sex? Or is it just you? Or is it just him? If either of the latter two options applies, stick to the beers until neither of you is any longer capable - You can just drool on to each other about love, like straight friends. If, on the other hand, you really are both up for it, then it could be time for some fun.

2. Do you or does he have a boyfriend? To whom are you or he committed? If there is a one-on-one boyfriend in the background, bear in mind that if you do have sex now you won't be seeing each other again for about six months - and then it will be boyfriend-chaperoned and distinctly frosty.

3. Do either of you really want a relationship with the other person - and being best friends has been the second best alternative to that? If so, it could be sex will shake it out of your system, or it could be Fatal Attraction time. Up to you.

4. Are you very good at keeping sex and love conceptually separate? Sex and friendship can coexist perfectly well, but if you associate sex with intimate love and commitment you are heading for trouble.

5. Are you going to learn something about your best friend you'd rather you didn't know? In terms of 'kink' and performative preferences, it could be best to have lots of talk about sex beforehand. Like you haven't already.

6. To sum up: will sex be great fun and a way of sharing friendship and bonding, or is it a very big deal? If the latter, press 'play' on the next DVD and have another beer.

7. And finally: Don't fondle your friend in the morning. That was last night; this is now.

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