4Men - Gay Relationships

Intimate and sometimes explicit advice and tips on the gay relationship and bedroom scene

Kissing Games

By Alex James

A kiss sets the mood for your entire sexual experience with your partner. If he's a bad kisser, you might as well put your clothes back on, go home, and jerk off.

The key to good kissing is to actively use your lips. I've kissed guys that didn't use their lips at all. They would just tense up their lips and leave them like that. It felt like I was trying to kiss a statue.

Relax or at least, make a mental effort to relax, your lips. Allow them to be soft and pliable. As you start to kiss, try gently brushing your partner's cheek with them, or run them along his neck just barely making contact with his skin.

Don't be afraid to use your breath. Nothing gets me hotter than feeling someone's warm breath on my neck, or someone gently (and I mean gently) blowing in my ear. It always sends goose bumps down my neck, back, and arms.

This type of gentle foreplay with your partner is extremely sensual, and builds up sexual tension. It can also serve to establish nonverbal communication between the two of you. His reactions to this sort of foreplay will give your first indications of his overall sexual responsiveness.

As you get into it, you'll probably start using your tongue. Run or flick your tongue across his lips, moistening them slightly without actually kissing him. When you do finally kiss, make sure to lick your own lips from time to time to ensure their softness. It's not very pleasant to kiss someone whose lips have the texture of sandpaper.

When you use your tongue on his neck, gently run it around his earlobe and ear. If you feel like it, suck on his earlobe - but not his ear. You may want to cover his entire ear with your mouth and gently exhale. Try not to inhale while doing this, and don't exhale too quickly because the rushing air will make him feel like he's in a wind tunnel.

When starting to "French" kiss, open your mouth just slightly. I can't tell you how many times I went to French someone and he opened his mouth widely sticking his tongue all the way out. I felt like I was Frenching a horse. You're trying to kiss here ... not eat a Big Mac!

Let your partner accept the tip of your tongue into his mouth, and vice versa. As you get more intense try sucking lightly on your partner's tongue - be careful not to suck too hard, making him feel like you're trying to rip his tongue from his mouth.

Try gently nibbling or sucking on your partner's lips. Feel their texture, softness, and even their taste with your tongue. Though it's generally subtle and easily unnoticed, the lips of different men do actually have their own unique flavour. Be a creative kisser.

Always be aware of your teeth. It's not really pleasant to be French kissing someone and feeling his teeth scrape the area around your mouth. Though teeth can effectively be used for fun. A light bite or nibble on your partner's chin can be a display of passionate sexual aggression :-)

When kissing someone - kiss him the same way you enjoy being kissed. Think back and remember a guy you really enjoyed kissing. How did he kiss you? What was so different about the way he kissed you? Try imitating those methods with your future partners.

I've found that most guys kiss with their eyes closed. Ignore the impulse to close your eyes when kissing and try opening them occasionally. It adds a new perspective to the experience.

When kissing other parts of your partner's body see if you can find his sensitive areas without asking him where they are. Explore his body with your lips, and pay attention to his feedback. Does he tense up? Does he hold you tighter? Does his breathing change? Is he smiling, etc.?

Some commonly sensitive areas are - love handles, the insides of thighs, the belly button, nipples, armpits, the small of the back, backs of knees, and so on. The "hot spots" vary greatly from one guy to another, as do degrees of sensitivity. Again, closely read his feedback, or he may end up being bored when you're earnestly doing your best to stimulate him.

Once again don't be afraid to use your imagination - be creative, be playful, have fun with it. If you make an effort to be in-tune with your partner, chances are he'll return the favour and both of you will have a better time.

If you're a guy that says, "kissing is not my thing", then you've just wasted about 5 to 10 minutes of your time reading this.

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