4Men - Gay Relationships

Intimate and sometimes explicit advice and tips on the gay relationship and bedroom scene

Threesomes

By Alex James

There is one golden rule about threesomes: this is about sex. It is not about love - save in that general "love-for-all-gay-man, we-are-tribe" sort of thing. If you can keep love and sex separate, read on.

Threesomes can be great. They are, for example, categorically imperative for spit-roast. Additionally, fucking while being fucked is something the average versatile guy might like to try before hitting thirty, if only to say he's done it and at risk of losing the hard-on and slipping out.

There are a range of activities to try. We would only say: don't move between partners when having anal sex without changing the condom first. We would also challenge anyone truthfully to say they've had two penises inside their anus at once. Feel free to have a go.

There is one further set of practical, how-to advice: you do often need to keep up a dialogue, remember there are three of you, not two plus one, and be prepared to assert yourself and push in where necessary - don't necessarily expect to be invited in any one moment.

And then, more importantly for you, there is the relationship and psychological health equation to deal with.

If you're going in as the third, things are generally fine. You're the fresh blood and can expect a lot of quite gratifying attention. The only problem can be if, the day after and that day on, the two others don't want to talk to you. This can be a little dispiriting - assuming you just happen to meet, out and about, perhaps on the scene - with regards to the maturity and general 'goodness' of other men. That said, most people worth knowing won't at all mind the occasional anecdotal reference afterwards.

If you're in the two and you're thinking of inviting the third, the rules to follow are these:

  • Make sure it is just sex and variety and neither you nor your partner really wants a relationship with that other person.
  • Make sure you are not going to be jealous if more attention is lavished on either of the other two people than it is on you.
  • Make sure your usual partner isn't going to feel jealous either.
  • Make sure it's very safe sex and keep checking the condoms, even if you don't normally use them with your usual partner.

Go play! Enjoy.

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