4Women - Women's Health

Women's health, mind and body topics with the focus on lesbian issues

Helpful hints on what to do when our Libidos start running a bit slow

Improving your libido

By Masina Wright

Our sex life is often the first thing to go when stress builds up. Think of it like a well – when we need to use up that water for all of our emergency situations (all that stress), the levels get low and our desires run dry. So, how can our fundamental passion runneth-over once more so that we can have naughty, orgasmic, unexpectedly satisfying sex with our sweethearts?

Lets start by saying that everyone is individual, and the best prescription is always made with the individual in mind. If you are seriously concerned about the state of your sex life, I highly recommend asking your Doctor for a full hormone panel – including testosterone and estrogen levels, this is important for both men and women. Women need a certain amount of testosterone too, and men often have either low levels, or excess estrogen from conversion of testosterone to estrogen. Both of these imbalances are easily corrected, which can make a huge difference in libido.

However, since I want to offer advice, lets talk in generalities. Generally, improving the libido starts with building up your energy reserves and balancing hormones. The adrenal glands are the part of your hormone system that produce adrenaline and cortisol and react to stress levels, they also produce small amounts of testosterone. There are many herbs that act as adrenal and hormone tonics, I’ll list and explain a few.

  • Ashwagandha means “the smell of a horse” in Sanskrit, partially because the fresh root is said to smell like horses urine, but also because it is renowned for imparting the sexual stamina of a horse. Ashwagandha’s chemical constituents called “withanaloids” resemble steroid hormones biochemically. This botanical medicine is used to enhance libido, tonify adrenals, and restore fertility.
  • Ginsengs provide Ginsenoside compounds that also balance hormones and support strong sexual function through tonifying activity. There are several kinds of ginseng available, the most common being American Ginsengs (Panax Quinquefolium) and Asian Ginseng (Panax Ginseng.) These herbs also increase nitrous oxide levels, improving blood flow and therefore supporting erectile tissue for all genders.
  • Muria Puma is a libido support that acts as a nervous system tonic. This is excellent for diminished sexual desire, improving sexual “weakness” and circulation.
  • Ginger and Cinnamon produce heat in the body and increase circulation to the pelvic region. While these are not direct libido enhancers, they are known to increase sexual sensation and improve sexual response.

It is important to remember that some issues with sex drive are mental rather than physical. When this is the case, flower essences are very gentle and safe natural medicines that can lightly shift emotional states. The Bach Flower Essences have been used for decades and are easy to self prescribe. Bach’s Crab Apple is also a wonderful remedy for people who have a hard time accepting their physical body or for germ phobia’s. While Olive remedies compete exhaustion, restoring vitality, strength and interest at a mental level. For those people having orgasm difficulties Larch is delightful, as it leads one away from the paradigm of success/failure and supports self-confidence. These and many more flower essences are available at most health food stores and “witchy” bookstores, complete with self help guides.

When working with sexual response, it is also key to be mindful that all senses, not just touch become activated. Scent is a powerful initiator of physical response, Jasmine and Rose are transcendent olfactory aphrodisiacs for all genders. We are also a visually oriented culture, so adorn yourself as you see your own inner sex god or goddess. When wooing your sweetheart (or yourself) wake all your senses; make sure to use colors, smells, tastes, and sounds that you find appealing and exciting to increase erotic potential.

Finally, I recall a study that said women are more likely to experience arousal when their feet are warm! So turn up the heat, take your remedies, light some scented candles, and pull out your fancy-pants, its gonna be a hot time in the old town tonight!

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