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When You Realise You Might Be Lesbian

Finding Out You Are Lesbian

By Kathy S

When realising that you have feelings for another woman, it doesn’t necessarily mean you are gay, but if it’s something you think about a lot or have experienced more than a few times, then it’s likely that you are more than straight.

There are two phases of acceptance that nearly all ‘newly gay’ women experience. If it’s something that has occurred later in your life and has come along as something of a surprise, then there are going to be obvious changes, some of which need to and will come from within yourself.

The scene can be a scary space, but it’s important that you remain true to yourself or you could end up very happy. You must remember that being gay or bisexual is no longer about looking or acting in a particular fashion. There are many ways of being gay and no two people are the same.

You may be dying to get out there to meet people and start your new life, but perhaps you should spend some time coming to terms with your sexuality and accepting it. It’s a gradual process about getting to know yourself. Gain confidence in who you are as a person and you won’t end up feeling lost or disillusioned with the scene.

You will find that there are still the stereotypes that may get you down – but don’t worry and certainly don’t beat yourself up if you feel you don’t fit in. It’s just like any part of society and we just have to find our own way and be confident in the individual we are – and celebrate it.

Realising your sexuality can often be an exciting experience, however to some it is a difficult process and there may be a period of denial. This is completely natural and even those who have been living anything but a straight lifestyle for years sometimes question themselves.

The best advice would be to go with the flow and find someone you can confide in who you trust and take it one step at a time. It’s not easy, but it can be exciting. As the old song goes ‘I am what I am’ – and before you can convince anyone of that, you need to believe it yourself.

If you find that your friends and family are hostile towards you, you will find that with time things can get better – which is the perfect cue to get out and build your life the way you want it. Don’t feel disheartened if you don’t get the reaction you hoped for – a lot of people simply don’t like change no matter what it is – but in this day and age you are sure to find plenty of people to accept you for who you are. The first person to do this should be you.

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