4Women - Lifestyle

From toys to furniture, sneakers to hairdo's. Everything that makes a South African lesbian's life interesting

Really? Just Friends?

By Andrea Norton

You’ve met someone lovely. After a string of disastrous dates and flings you finally think that you’ve met the girl for you. Or is she?

You met on a night out with some friends and you’ve had a fantastic time chatting. You realise you’ve got so much in common and she seems like she’s interested. Not only does she have a great personality but she’s gorgeous and totally sexy too.

You end up flirting with each other and eventually she asks you for your number. You’re so excited, you don’t know what to do with yourself. The night ends perfectly with a kiss and you start doing what any normal girl would do and start making the wedding list and flicking through holiday brochures.

A couple of dates come and go, and while you haven’t slept with each other, there is a definite frisson and you think it’s only a matter of time. Things couldn’t be better.

Then the bombshell – she just wants to be friends. You’re completely confused and you can’t quite understand what’s going on. You’ve never felt more confident about a situation and so you’re dumbfounded – what’s going on?

It turns out she’s nervous about getting involved and just wants to get to know you as a friend first and then see what happens. Now you’re in a state of confusion and don’t know whether to just cut ties immediately or see how it goes.

It’s a common occurrence amongst lesbians. Many automatically think that just because you get on well with another lesbian you should immediately get it together. The problem with this is that, if you do rush things, you don’t get to know each other – and after a few months of being together you finally realise that actually, she’s not the girl you first thought she was – and you want out.

While at first, if she’s holding back from sexual intimacy, it may seem like a rebuttal, you should be pleased that you’ve met someone who is sensible enough to take their time – not to mention who has enough self-respect to think about what they want from a partner.

Try to take a step back and be patient. Get to know each other, and if it really is right, well, all good things come to those who wait!

Join us on Facebook Follow us on Twitter Keep up with us on Pinterest Join our Google Plus circle Join us on Tumblr