4Women - Lesbian Relationships

Intimate and sometimes explicit advice and tips on the lesbian relationship and bedroom scene

Helping yourself out can be beneficial to both in a lesbian relationship

Helping Hands

By Lou Lou

Being a powerful queer woman, it's pretty obvious that you'll be good at masturbating. Or is it? Many lesbians feel that touching themselves is actually quite a difficult act - and find that the only time they can come into contact with a vagina is when they are sleeping with another woman.

There are so many reasons why masturbating is important for women, especially those who sleep with women. There is the obvious result of pleasure and relaxation - there's nothing better for getting you off to sleep at night if you are stressed, curing a headache or helping reduce period pains (the endorphins released when you reach orgasm are a natural painkiller). However, what you learn about yourself sexually when you masturbate can be invaluable for both you and your partner.

If you begin to learn about your body alone, you are more likely to be confident with other women - particularly in telling them what you want. By practising making yourself orgasm, you should find it easier to communicate that to the girl you are sleeping with.

If you find it hard to get started with masturbation and it's something that doesn't come naturally to you, attempt it when you are at that time of month when you are feeling particularly horny. Make sure that you are alone and that you won't be interrupted. Switch off the phone and close the door. It's time for some 'me time'.

If you find the idea of feeling exposed difficult, try gently moving your hand down your stomach and to your inner thigh when you are under the duvet. Explore the whole of your vagina, rather than just focusing on the clitoris. Stroke around and ease yourself into it. Look at it as an exercise and take it one step at a time until you feel comfortable enough to go for the plunge.

Gently use the middle and ring finger to explore the entrance to the vagina and feel for your clitoris. When you are ready and sufficiently turned on, start slowly and gently stimulating your clitoris - you'll find it gets harder and plumper to the touch and you'll find yourself instinctively adjusting the pressure of your fingers and the speed and direction.

The one thing to remember when masturbating is that if it is your first time, do not be alarmed by the results! One thing you will notice is that your orgasm, if achieved, will be much more intense and immediate than if it were your partner performing the act.

If you think about how long it took you or could take you to make yourself come, think about how it must be for other people! By trying different methods on yourself, you can then teach these to your partner so you ultimately both benefit from your research!

Not only will you personally benefit in terms of how many orgasms you can teach your partner to give you, but you can also get a good idea of how it works for other women. That way you can take your time with your girlfriend - something which she is sure to thank you for!


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