4Women - Lesbian Relationships

Intimate and sometimes explicit advice and tips on the lesbian relationship and bedroom scene

About lesbian couples discovering new things together

Discovering New Things Together

By Lou Lou

Not everyone can be sexually the same. It would be a boring old world if we were.

However, this can sometimes make things a little difficult when it comes to talking about what you really do want.

After all, we may be quite passionate about our sexual likes and dislikes, but most of us wouldn't want to be so forthright about what we want just to blurt it out and demand that we get it there and then.

Sexual relationships are about give and take - and a lot of compromise.

Many women who are new to sexual relationships with other woman can often feel as though they are not confident enough to stand up for what they do and don't want when it comes to sex. Unfortunately, this is all too common and can lead to misunderstandings down the line, and in some cases real feelings of hurt and rejection.

It is a vital part of getting to know someone that you are honest up front about what you like to do in bed. There is no point in going along with something only to turn around at a later date and say, 'Well, I never liked it anyway.' It's no way to induce trust in your partner and certainly doesn't bode well for the future of the relationship.

Conversely, it is vitally important that you don't force something on someone when you aren't one hundred percent sure that you are both doing something you want to do.

So, how do you broach the subject? Being up-front is important. Being honest and supportive is also important. If you are with the right partner, expressing your wishes and desires shouldn't be so difficult - and equally, it shouldn't be so difficult for them to say no or, with any luck, yes.

Be sure to encourage them into being honest with you too, offering support and assurances that if they say no, you won't go running a mile. It's all about relative boundaries. Some women feel that penetration is wholly unacceptable, while others might wonder why you haven't fisted them within half an hour of meeting them.

Talk about what you both enjoy and be sure to come to a compromise that you both enjoy and are comfortable with. Sex is, after all, supposed to be an enjoyable way to demonstrate how you feel about your partner. If you are both mutually consenting adults, then the sky is the limit in terms of how you demonstrate those feelings.


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