I write a whole heap of stuff taking the piss out of us, the lesbian community and a whole heap about the stereotypes – but it occurred to me that I don’t write so much about the good stuff. And there is so much good stuff.
Do you remember when you first worked out you were a lesbian? Maybe the best part is the first time you do something about it – wasn’t that experience just like coming home? Suddenly the jigsaw’s all together perfectly, making the most beautiful image.
How about falling in love? OK so we’re the segment of society renowned for moving in on the second date, but hey at least we love hard and well and euphorically – at least until the universe knocks some sense into us!
What romantic things would be lesbian-specific then – well I guess we can watch the most chick of chickflicks together as a couple, without one of us rolling our eyes and wishing the rugby was on instead. Our taste in music and screen idols might even coincide – the stereotype here is probably Angelina Jolie on screen and Sarah Bettens on the iPod. Of course the good old lesbo urge to merge has its disadvantages (everything has those), but it can be so blissful.
Wearing each other’s clothes in a fluffy attempt to be close when you’re apart is simpler too, because you’re more likely to be the same size and certainly you’ll be the same gender. In fact, assuming you’re not too far into the butch-femme dynamic, you can pretty much just rip off your girlfriend’s stuff wholesale. But I digress.
Imagine a lesbian romance montage – soft-focus and a soundtrack of vagina-music. No, that’s nothing like whale song, it’s the amusing epithet I once heard someone give to all the right-on female vocalists we tend to listen to in stereo and in stereotype. We see the young lesbian lovers snuggling on a couch watching The L Word, hand in hand Pride Marches, shopping for lube, falling asleep separately with misty eyes pressed into each other’s t-shirts, borrowing each other’s hair products, comparing leg hair length – OK I was kidding about that last one. Maybe.
If anyone needs me, I’ll be making a mixtape.